In addition to the phrase, "I'll never own a minivan" now being classified into the 'words I need to eat' category and the instant dork status that accompanies being handed the keys, I have a new gripe.
I just received our new car insurance bill. It's at a record low. I love seeing such a tiny monthly number. Yet, slapping a new vehicle on there will skyrocket our rates.
I assume there is also some kind of Minivan Mama surcharge that I don't yet know about. They charge more for sports cars because they stereotype the driver and automatically classify them as reckless. Red cars owners pay more because statistically they are more likely to be pulled over.
It's safe to say that a Minivan Mama is:
a. Lacking the sufficient sleep required to operate a motor vehicle.
b. Jittery from all the excess caffeine consumed because of the above.
c. Frequently trying to multitask driving with handing out goldfish crackers to the passengers and fiddling with the CD player to find whichever Wiggles song is being screamed for at that moment.
d. Late for something and in a rush.
e. Spending more time looking in the rearview mirror than the road.
f. All of the above.
Perhaps we should just skip the minivan and hoof it everywhere. Lord knows the double strollers we've looked at are already bigger than our current SUV anyhow.
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