At Least The Lying Has Ceased

I surround myself by good friends who just so happen to be big, fat liars.

For months people have been saying, "You look great!"  I knew they were fibbing.

Then came the lesser version of the same lie, "You look really good!"  Again, I knew they were pathological.

Now it is safe to say the jig is up.  Although they aren't blatantly lying they aren't exactly "truthing" either.

I'm now greeted with one of the following...

a. WOW! (Translation: I need to say something, but I'm too much in shock over the general mass that is you to really comment in more than one word.)

b. "Well, Look at You!" (Translation: I can't take my eyes off of you.  I'm in awe.  I don't know if I should be impressed that you are mobile and upright or worried that gravity will topple you over on top of me.)

c. "My Goodness! You really are having twins!" (Translation: ...or quadruplets...or a litter...or a number close to the population of China)

d. "You must be due any day now!" (Translation: because otherwise you will explode soon.  Skin can not stretch to a greater capacity than it has already)

Then there are the "avoid having to comment by asking a question" comments...

e. "How are You Feeling?" (translation: I already know the answer.  You MUST be feeling miserable.  How could you not be feeling miserable?)

f. "How are you dealing with the heat?" (translation: I don't care really, but just don't move.  It's hot and humid and you and your insanely large belly are casting an enormous shadow and blocking the sun which is offering me (and the greater New England area) some much needed relief).

Like I said, it beats being lied to. :)